


maybe one day

by bogfenwetland



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, kind of fluff!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24200323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bogfenwetland/pseuds/bogfenwetland
Summary: adora and catra talk about their history
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 210





	maybe one day

**Author's Note:**

> GAYS STAY WINNING!!!!!!!! literally so fucking thrilled with s5 could not have been better imo. except for the pacing was a little crazy i guess but the major plot points were clutch. anyway i did not intend to write this story i was going to write something more about catra trying to hide her feelings for adora but i guess my internal dissatisfaction with the fact that they never really... talked about... anything got in the way of that. maybe another time!
> 
> (im on tumblr @jennifersbody2)

If asked, gun to her head, when it happened -- or rather, when she noticed it -- Catra would say it was when she recognized the motifs of her own headgear in She-Ra’s new outfit. Or when she first opened her eyes, under control of the clone hive-mind, and realized that Adora had actually come to Prime’s ship to rescue her. Or when she decided to save Glimmer to save Adora. Or, possibly, and honestly more likely than anything else, it has always been there. That pull, that drive to be _near_ her. Just to be around her. To hear her laugh, to be the one to _make_ her laugh. To touch her, to start fights just to feel the warmth of her body. That has definitely, without a doubt, always been there. But, no matter. There is no gun to her head. No reason to ruin things with thoughts like this. 

Because, in a manner that would be clear to anybody who had been around Eternia in the past few years, everything between them is better than it had been in a long time. Maybe better than ever. Sure, back in the Fright Zone they were inseparable, united in ideology, but Catra isn’t stupid now and wasn’t stupid then. Adora is _good_. Plainly and simply. Even in her childish naivety then, Catra could have bet that Adora would one day come to her senses and see that the Horde was manipulating her, manipulating all of them. It was a perfect and innocent relationship, but it just couldn’t last. 

Now, however, the whole scenario is different. On the same team again, but this time, the good team. Both more powerful than ever, both more mature. Even if Catra sometimes feels more like a child than she did as a kid. Even if that feeling is incredibly prevalent whenever she is around Adora, struck down by immature nerves and an idiotic fear of something like rejection. Not that Catra cares about rejection, or fitting in, or being liked, or anything like that. No way. Not her. But, let’s say, hypothetically, that she does care about that shit. An easy way to avoid that would be to avoid showing her feelings to Adora, avoid risking any vulnerability there. 

Again, Catra isn’t stupid. It’s not like she thinks that Adora would, like, like her back or anything. If she even _likes_ Adora. Like that. Whatever. But it is the unfortunate truth that they, up until a few days ago, had been mortal enemies. And not that Catra has ever been any sort of scholar of romance, but usually, if her inferences are correct, the story isn’t “childhood best friends to war criminals to lovers.” Their relationship, now more than ever, is a very delicate balance. If Catra were to just pounce on Adora with talk about _feelings_ , it would definitely topple that balance. Maybe resulting in Catra getting tossed out of the airlock or punched in the face or scrambling to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart. Not worth it. Even if there is the slightest chance that Adora feels something similar, that she might be just as confused, that she might also just want to grab Catra by the face and _oh fuck someone is knocking on her door_.

Catra bolts into a crouch on her bed and does a piss poor job of muffling her cartoonish yelp with her hands. The voice outside the door only makes her want to try the airlock theory herself, nerves activating her fight or flight. She quickly scrambles back into a natural looking sleeping position. She hopes. 

“Catra? Are you awake? Can I come in?” Adora’s questions are tender, her voice soft. Catra shakes her head rapidly back and forth, attempting to kill the butterflies in her brain by forcing them into some sort of tumble-dry situation. 

“Uh,” she squeaks out, cursing herself before clearing her throat. “Yeah. Yes.” 

The door hisses as it slides open, pressure releasing quickly. Adora stands leaning against the doorframe, a tired smile on her lips. Her hair is tied back loosely, strands hanging down that must have come undone in her own fit of sleeplessness. She is wearing a gray tank and shorts, and she is working hard to suppress laughter. 

“God, Catra, no wonder you’re still up. Who sleeps like that?” she asks with a snort. Catra glances down at herself, blanket corkscrewed around her torso and one leg brought up so high her knee is almost touching her chin. She swiftly untangles herself and sits up, laughing nervously and rubbing at the back of her neck.

“I’m having a bit of trouble adjusting to sleeping in a room with nobody else,” Catra offers up as an explanation, heart thumping as Adora pushes off the wall and takes a couple steps towards Catra, the door closing behind her. She seems to hesitate just a second before deciding to sit at the foot of Catra’s bed. Her answering laugh is quiet, as if trying not to wake anybody else on the ship up.

“That was hard for me, too. You know, when I first got to Bright Moon, I couldn’t sleep alone at all. Bow and Glimmer would bring bedrolls into my room to keep me company,” Adora recounts, flinching slightly at the look on Catra’s face. She had narrowed her eyes and looked away, instantly feeling that weird twinge of guilt she felt whenever Adora mentions her newer, better friends. Adora extends her arm slightly as if to reach for Catra’s hand before deciding otherwise, letting her wrist drop limply into her lap. “It was nice of them, but do you want to know what would actually help me?” Adora is whispering now, her eyebrows raised conspiratorially. 

“What, picturing conquering the world with all you perfect little princesses?” Catra drawls out, her low voice playful. Now Adora really does reach out, moving closer to Catra on the bed and lightly slapping Catra’s knee. She lets her hand rest there after the fact. 

“More like seeing the look on your face when I finally kicked your ass once and for all,” Adora jokes back, her smile wide. Catra cries out, jumping forward quickly and knocking Adora onto her back. Even with her new short hair, strands still hang in her eyes when she looks down at Adora underneath her. Adora laughs louder now, wrapping her hands around Catra’s wrists where she’s pushing Adora down. Catra prays to something that Adora can’t feel her racing pulse. Being close to her like this is… hard. Now that she has been dumb enough to think about her feelings. “But, seriously. Promise you won’t make fun of me?” Adora looks up at Catra from under her eyelashes and Catra swears she sees a little pink on her cheeks. Overwhelmed, she slides off Adora and lies down on her back next to her, their heads at the foot of the bed.

“No guarantees, princess,” Catra says, avoiding eye contact. Adora rolls onto her side, facing Catra directly. The bed is small, there’s really no room between them with Catra on her back like this. There would be more space if she would also turn on her side, but then they would be so close, face to face. Catra swallows thickly and keeps her eyes trained on the ceiling. She stops breathing for a moment when Adora wraps an arm around Catra’s torso and presses her forehead into Catra’s shoulder. Catra can feel Adora’s lips moving against her arm when she speaks. 

“It’s dumb, I guess. I would grab all the pillows from around my room -- and there are _a lot_ of pillows in Bright Moon, like, seriously -- and I would kind of pile them up at the end of my bed in a circle,” Adora says quietly, the hand on Catra’s torso gripping slightly at her shirt as she speaks. Catra risks a glance over at Adora. 

“Why? That doesn’t make any sense.” 

“It reminded me of you. Back at the Horde. When you would come and curl up in my bed when you thought I was already asleep,” Adora explains, seemingly attempting to burrow her head in Catra’s arm as she speaks. Catra laughs and she knows it sounds a little mean, so she quickly lifts her arm and pulls Adora into her side. Catra hopes she isn’t sweating. Being with Adora like this is nice and relaxing and simple despite also being nerve-wracking and complicated and just an overall shitshow. 

“Stop laughing!” Adora shouts out, a laugh of her own escaping as she feigns trying to push off Catra’s rib cage before settling deeply into the position, her head resting on Catra’s collarbone. Catra turns her neck towards Adora, her lips brushing against Adora’s hair. 

“That’s cute, Adora,” Catra says gently, adrenaline spiking as she feels Adora tense next to her. Adora sputters something that would sound precariously close to a giggle, if Catra didn’t know any better. Unwarranted compliments probably just make her uncomfortable. They are silent for a little, the only sounds their breathing and the light scratching of where Adora has started absentmindedly running her nails through the soft fur on Catra’s stomach. And then Catra’s light purring. God, she wishes she could turn that off. 

They stay like this for a while, Adora’s hand gradually beginning to slow as time goes on. Catra tries not to let her mind wander, tries to just focus on this time together, but, as always, she gets the best of herself. She should feel selfish, she knows this. She does feel selfish, she supposes. Stealing Adora away for herself, hoarding her in her room. But she wants this, she’s wanted it so badly for so long. Why should she deny herself of it now? Adora likes it too, apparent from the way she’s slowly drifting off. At least, Catra thinks she is. Until she speaks. 

“I’ve missed this, Catra. I’ve missed you.” Her words are fond and Catra doesn’t understand them. What is she trying to get at? What is this supposed to mean? Why would she _miss_ her, when Catra is a monster? When Catra has done nothing but hurt Adora? And just like that, the illusion comes crashing down. This isn't right. And she says as much.

“Adora, what is wrong with you?” Catra’s voice is high pitched, her words come out quick. She sits up rapidly, trying to ignore how Adora winces when she bumps her head with her elbow. Adora’s eyes are wide and she follows suit, propping herself up slowly. 

“What?” Adora questions, her voice shaking a little. Catra blinks quickly. “What do you mean? Catra, I just like--” 

“I mean that I have treated you like shit for so long, Adora! I have manipulated you and used you and hurt you and your friends and ruined everything, just like I always do! Shadow Weaver was right, I--” Catra is cut off by a hard slap to the face. She yelps and brings her hand up to her cheek, rubbing at the tender spot. 

“Adora!” 

“Don’t you _ever_ say anything like that about Shadow Weaver again! Do you hear me?” Adora urges, bringing both hands up to cup Catra’s face. Catra nods slowly, trying to ignore the tears she can feel pricking in the corners of her eyes.

“Yeah, you did a lot of fucked up stuff, Catra! I’m not stupid, of course I remember it all. And some of it really was just you making mistakes in judgement, and that stuff happens and I can learn to forgive that! But a lot of -- most of it, in all honesty -- is stuff you were manipulated into doing! By Shadow Weaver, by Hordak. They taught you that you weren't safe unless you were on their good side. And how do you get on their good side? By any means necessary. It fucking sucks that I am the person that they wanted hurt the most, and that you were forced to do that to remain safe. But you have to remember, I grew up there with you! I remember exactly how it was. 

“I can’t blame you entirely for everything that happened, Catra. Those people are evil, really, seriously evil. Shadow Weaver can try to get on our good side and repent all she wants, Hordak can play the scorned younger brother card, but nothing gives them the excuse to enlist child soldiers and abuse them their entire lives! And, Catra, you got pretty much the most raw deal out of anyone there. Shadow Weaver fucking hated you for no reason! You were just as good as me, just as good as everyone, _better_ in a lot of ways. 

“You know why nothing you ever did was good enough for her? Because she was _scared_ of you. She was terrified that you would be the one to break the cycle of abuse, that you would be the one to stand up against them. And maybe it took you a little longer than it should have, but you got there eventually! 

“Catra, you might not recognize this, but when you saved Glimmer from Prime’s ship, you saved the entire rebellion. The whole of Eternia. The fucking universe. Every key player we have matters so much. Losing anyone means losing the war. I know you feel this horrible, awful guilt over things you’ve done. It eats away at you, makes you feel worthless. But you aren’t done yet, Catra. You’ve got plenty of time to right your wrongs. And I want to be by your side the whole time.”

Adora’s words are quick and passionate, blunt and precise. She moves her hands about wildly as she speaks, grabbing at Catra’s shoulders, face, hands here and there. Catra isn’t sure how she maintains her composure through it all. She wants to cry, scream, argue. But she sees that there is no point. Adora believes everything she says. She believes it hard enough that Catra can almost believe it with her. And, even if she wanted to argue, Catra is too stuck on one part to remember her point. 

“You… want to stay with me?” Catra whispers, her voice wavering uncharacteristically. Adora sighs loudly and wraps her hands around Catra’s arms. 

“Of course, you idiot! Of course I do!” she shouts, shaking Catra violently as she does so. When she stills, Catra wipes some tears from her face she hadn’t noticed before. Adora is smiling at her, a hopeful look in her eyes. Catra hopes the thing about always landing on her feet applies to her internal organs as well, because she just knows her heart is about to leap out of her chest. She smiles a sad little smile at Adora, who promptly pushes Catra’s cheeks up until she’s grinning widely. Catra laughs and crushes Adora in a hug, holding her to her chest until Adora has to tap out to breathe. 

“Thank you, Adora,” Catra says softly, holding Adora’s hands as she looks into her eyes. In this moment, it’s easy for Catra to forget how scared she is of her feelings. It doesn’t matter if Adora doesn’t want her like Catra does, Adora still loves her in her own way. Maybe one day she would tell Adora how she feels. But not today, not when things feel so perfect. With an easy smile, Catra settles back down into the mattress, pulling Adora back into her side. Her hands run smoothly through Adora’s messy hair, her heart relaxes as she listens to Adora’s breathing slow as she starts to drift off to sleep. _Oh shit wait_. 

“Hey, Adora?”

“Mmph?”

“Why did you come to my room, anyway?”

“Fuck, Catra! When are you going to realize that I just like spending time with you?”


End file.
